Heal our House of Heartbreak

This article follows Suzie Vanderborght’s journey to reclaim peace and harmony in her life and home after a devastating personal tragedy. Guided by space clearer and Reiki Master Chris Colgan, Suzie learns how negative energy in her home—manifested through clutter, unresolved emotions, and remnants of the past—was holding her back. With insightful recommendations and energy-clearing rituals, Chris helps transform her home into a space of warmth and positivity. The story inspires readers to declutter their lives, embrace change, and create environments that nurture healing and growth.

Ever since the Vanderborght family was torn apart by tragedy, their home has felt like a prison, trapping them in a painful past. Could ancient space-clearing rituals heal their hurt and help them move on?

If your life isn’t moving forwards, it could be your home that’s holding you back. ‘Houses can absorb negative energy from previous tenants the way a computer hard drive stores files,’ says space clearer Chris Colgan. ‘On top of that, your own unwanted junk and the way you choose to decorate your home can have an influence on your life and the way you feel. Space clearing can help get rid of bad energy and completely change your life.’ With a promise like that, we weren’t surprised to be flooded with entries for our competition last May to win a consultation with Chris. But it was the plea for help from Spirit & Destiny reader Suzie Vanderborght that really moved us…

THE HOME & OWNER

This two-bedroom bungalow in Brushford, Somerset, may look like a rural idyll but for Suzie, 45, and her three youngest daughters Libby, 17, Freja, 13, and Tia, eight, it’s brought nothing but bad luck.

Here’s what Suzie told us: ‘As the mother of four girls, I’ve always tried to give them a happy, stable home environment. So when my husband and I split in 1998, and I was leftW looking after the three girls still living at home, I was in no hurry to start another relationship. ‘But there was one man who caught my attention. Roger and I shared a passion for sailing and had become friends. He was funny, outgoing and self-assured, and within six months we had started dating. My youngest daughter, Tia, was only 18 months old at the time and they quickly became close. We were all into horse riding so Roger bought a horse and came out with us. After a year he relocated his business as a financial adviser from Andover in Hampshire to live with us in Somerset. ‘He had two children from a previous marriage, but hadn’t ever lived with them full-time as he worked away, so we became the family he’d never had.

‘Life was great for me too. My ex-husband had always been busy at work while I’d brought up the children, but Roger was very caring. He’d call to see how my day was and often bought flowers or cards.

‘However, despite his cheery exterior, I knew he’d suffered bouts of depression, and early on in our relationship I’d found an email he’d sent to a friend saying, “I’m in suicidal mode again”. ‘It wasn’t until four years later, early 2002, that he became tense. He’d be irritated by the girls at mealtimes and found it hard to concentrate.

‘By the end of May I was so worried I urged him to see his GP, who put him on Prozac. It seemed to work, and by the time we went on holiday to Guernsey in September, he told me he was thinking, “He’s 99 per cent there”. ‘Two weeks later, on 20 October 2002, Roger and I were enjoying a weekend alone at the cottage, as the girls had gone to stay with their dad.

In the morning we stripped ivy off the garage, with Roger stopping to joke with friends as they walked through the village. In the evening we settled down to watch a video.

‘I went up to bed about 11pm but Roger said he was staying up. He often checked his emails before coming to bed. I soon nodded off.

‘Suddenly he was standing by the bed saying, “You do love me, don’t you?” I replied, “Yes of course I do. Come to bed, silly.”

“”My parents are calling me; they want me to go with them,” he said.

‘I froze. Roger’s parents had died 10 years ago. ‘Terrified, I got out of bed and slapped his face to make him come to his senses. I thought he’d be angry, but he slowly turned to me and stared with the same distant eyes. “The house is going to blow in three minutes,” was all he said.

‘He then jumped towards the phone and ripped the wire out of the wall before running downstairs and doing the same to the phone in the hall. He went into the lounge and turned to face me. I halted in my tracks – there was a red petrol can on the floor. He grabbed it and star started pouring fuel around and all over himself.

‘I hesitated in the doorway. He tugged at my heartstrings. Part of me wanted to go in and say, “For God’s sake stop this craziness,” but another part of my brain was saying, “One step inside the room and it could all go up in flames.”

‘He didn’t say another word – but just stared at me. Then my survival instinct kicked in and I fled into the garden in my nightdress. As I ran down the side of the house I glanced in the window and saw he’d opened the door of the wood-burning stove. I banged on my neighbours’ door, shouting at them to call the fire brigade.

‘Then there was a roar as the whole house ignited and the windows blew out. Roger gave out a blood-curdling scream – it was so loud the fire control officer heard it down the phone. ‘I pleaded with a neighbour to help me drag Roger out, but as we tried to get back to the door we were beaten back by flames. The firefighters arrived in seven minutes but it was too late for Roger, who’d perished in the flames. ‘This was the man I thought I was going to grow old with – I couldn’t believe what had happened. But when I woke up the next morning, I knew my whole life had changed.

‘My ex-husband broke the news to the girls, who were devastated. I asked him to keep them for a few more days. I’d always been strong and protective around the girls, but I couldn’t do that right now. I needed time. I kept reproaching dat myself, “Why didn’t I see this coming? Could w I have stopped him?” Deep down I knew from the look on his face that he’d been on a mission. He’d had enough. But I’m sure he loved me and wanted to take me with him.

‘Thankfully my eldest daughter and mum lived nearby, and the villagers were incredibly kind. We didn’t have any clothes, but they gave me parcels of food, clothes, toys and books. ‘My heart was broken, but I was determined to struggle on for the girls’ sake and get through. ‘Because we lived in Somerset, much of the accommodation was short-term holiday lets, so we had to move six times over the next two years. It was a very unsettling time. A year ago, we managed to buy this bungalow and I hoped it would be a new start. Sadly, it’s never felt like home. The house always feels cold even though our heating bills are huge, and mechanical things like my printer and mobile phone are always going wrong. Freja hates the atmosphere in the house and is scared to be alone there, and I’m constantly tired. I feel completely stuck. I don’t know whether to move house, change my job or to start my love life again. I can’t wait to see if Chris can help to get things moving.’

THE SPACE CLEARER

Chris Colgan left his internet job after a life-changing trip to Arizona, USA, and is now a space clearer and reiki master. He uses his intuition to sense and banish negative energy. He holds his hands near objects to pick up vibrational imprints that people have left behind.

What Chris told us: ‘Most of us want change in our lives but Suzie has a huge personal tragedy to overcome first. When a relationship breaks up in the normal way, we have time to get used to the idea. There are rows and someone to question. But when Suzie’s partner died, she had everything wrenched away from her. She is still holding on to items of furniture that are stained by smoke, which are physical reminders of what has happened. It feels like communication within the house is out of balance, too. The type of furniture and where it’s placed does not lend itself to interaction, either within the family or with the outside world. We need to remedy this!’

CLEAR OUT PASSAGEWAYS

Chris: ‘Clutter blocks the flow of energy through your home, and there’s nothing more guaranteed to keep you stuck in a rut. All the passageways in and around Suzie’s home are blocked, from the alley that runs down the side of the house, which is thick with weeds, to the hallway that’s filled with tables and piles of books and papers. She must feel tired and 225 unable to make any decisions about her life. Suzie needs to clear all those blockages and to then she should have some clarity.

Suzie: ‘Chris is right – I’m exhausted and com seem to have very little energy. I’m also feeling indecisive, especially about my work situation. I’ve been offered the chance to take over the pet shop I work in, but I’m hesitating as it would leave me little time to spend with the girls or develop my skills as an animal communicator. I just can’t make my mind up, so hopefully now! clearing the clutter will help.’

MAKE THE ENTRANCE MORE WELCOMING

Chris: ‘The entrance to the home is the first thing you and everyone else – sees. So it’s very important that it makes you feel welcome and comfortable. Everyone comes into Suzie’s house through the porch at the side of the bungalow, but unfortunately, she uses this as a storage space for unwanted junk, including a chair she rescued from her old home. From that, I picked up suppressed male anger, which is very negative for a house full of women. I would say Suzie should get rid of that chair, and clear the rest of the porch so she feels energised and content when she comes home.” Suzie: ‘My heart often sinks when I come in, and this explains why. I really dislike that chair, but I’ve hung on to it because it belonged to my great-grandfather. I’ve tried it in different rooms but it’s never really looked right anywhere.’

MAKE A MARK ON THE KITCHEN

Chris: ‘Suzie’s no domestic goddess – at least, not in this kitchen. I feel she spends the minimum amount of time here and can’t wait to get out whenever she’s in it. The kitchen is the focal point of the home, so it’s a good place to show your identity. But there’s no sense of Suzie here. I feel she hides her true self away from the outside world. If she finds it difficult to open up and reveal herself, she could allow her home to do it for her. There’s a big shelf of alcoholic drinks, but Suzie hardly touches a drop and keeps it here for other people. So, I suggest she paints the shelving a colour that represents her, gets rid of the booze and fills it with things she identifies with. It would fir really boost her confidence.’

Suzie: ‘It’s true – very few people know the real me. I feel insecure letting people in. When Chris suggested painting the shelving, I immediately thought of the colour pink, which feels very “me” as it’s a strong feminine colour.’

BRING LIFE TO THE LIVING ROOM

Chris: ‘This is the most disempowering room in the house. It doesn’t have its own identity – it feels like a cross between a lounge and a diner, with a big table as the dominant feature and the sofas squeezed in next to it. Its purpose is so unclear, it’s likely everyone feels vague and ill at ease when they’re in here, which is a shame as Suzie wants it to be a cosy family room. Everything faces inwards in this room, and one of the sofas is rammed under the window, which has a beautiful view. Suzie should rearrange the room so the table’s in a corner and both the sofas have a view – that would encourage her to look outwards and face the world. The cat pictures work well, as cats are a powerful feminine symbol, which will help to strengthen the female energy in this home.’

Suzie: ‘I know I need to put myself out in the world again, so it’s interesting Chris picked up on my tendency to hide away. Nobody ever wants to sit on the sofa under the window.’

MAKE THE BEDROOMM MORE GROWN-UP

Chris: ‘Suzie’s bedroom could belong to mil Sleeping Beauty. There are thick brambles against the window-keeping the world out – and the bed is covered with fairy tale-style chiffon curtains that form a very defensive cocoon. There’s no room for a man here. There are piles of fluffy toys everywhere, which sends out the message that Suzie still longs to be a little girl. It’s time to ditch the fairy tale and grow up. The chest of drawers gives off a powerful negative energy. I think it’s very important that Suzie, rather than me, makes the choices in this room – she needs to be the adult and make the decisions.’

Suzie: ‘I had a very happy childhood and I think I subconsciously hang on to that, especially when things are tough. But I know I need to live in the now. I’d love to have a new man in my life, and now I can see I haven’t made space for a potential relationship. I shut people out. Chris asked me what I could sense from the chest of drawers, and when I knelt in front of it, it really repelled me. It also came from the old house, so it needs to go.’

TRANSFORM THE BATHROOM INTO A HEAVENLY HAVEN

Chris: ‘It’s surprising in a house with four women to have such a functional bathroom.I don’t sense that Suzie spends much time in si here-but it would be good for her self-esteem if she did. This should be a pampering paradise, with oils, candles and soft towels, and Suzie should make time for herself in it.’

Suzie: ‘I used to write poetry in the bath. Now I rarely take the time to have a long soak, so Chris is quite right about it being a purely new functional room. I’ll buy some candles and oils and start enjoying the bathroom again.’

DE-JUNK THE KIDS’ BEDROOM

Chris: ‘This is a cosy room with lots of soft toys but I sense the girls are hiding their spirituality. There are some pictures with very spiritual messages but everyone is disturbed or obscured in some way – one is covered by toys, while another’s frame is broken. There’s too much clutter on the floor, so the door doesn’t open properly. Again, this will disrupt the flow of energy round the home, making everyone feel tired and even affecting their sleep.’

Suzie: ‘The girls don’t sleep well, and Freja often complains she never wakes up feeling pence refreshed. She, in particular, is very spiritual.com She can see people’s auras, but lately she’s been reluctant to talk about it.’

Article originally published in October 2005